oh, blerg!

A.P.C. trench coat, Steven Alan dress, A.P.C. shirt, vintage oxfords

Just spent a nice relaxing weekend with family (thanks for taking my pictures, mom!) and now I'm back in Berkeley where the high in is in the 50s. Super excited about tomorrow, it's finally time for El Clásico!! Oh, and my birthday. Too bad I have a paper and presentation due right after. I'm keeping this short because all of my creative juices are running dry after writing 5 pages about baroque Spanish poetry...

new trench

I'm off to Zuni now for dinner. CHICKEN FOR TWO! Sounds like a good birthday.

wizard cape

vintage cape, american apparel tights, vintage boots, lanvin x h&m sunglasses

I found this cape deep inside my closet when I was cleaning it out this weekend. I think I bought it at American Rag in SF right before it closed. I watched Harry Potter last night after a successful marg & guac fest at Chevys (SUNDAY FUNDAY!!). It was okay. The movie, I mean. I read the final book three times when it came out and I don't remember it being that boring. I guess nothing exciting really happened in the first half of the novel but the next one is going to be way better, obviously. Good thing I was drunk.


ohhhh here she comes


A better photo of my hair from the last post. I don't know if you can tell but I'm wearing a braided double headband from Zara. I have no idea how it came out so well, I think I was watching TV while I put it up absentmindedly. I do remember taking out around 15 bobby pins at the end of the day though. Second photo has nothing to do with the first but I like it anyway. I hope he doesn't end up with carpal tunnel, seriously.

To answer a few questions about the photo in that last "happy" post: I bought the Totoro dolls at a kiosk in a mall in Southern California and the ceramic eggs are from Daiso in Japantown. I don't know if that kiosk even exists anymore or if the eggs are still around since it's been a while since I bought them. I don't know where to find them online, unfortunately.


wrinkled linen

A.P.C. linen dress via Azalea in SF, H&M cardigan, vintage oxfords, fjallraven backpack

The next time someone asks me to summarize my style in one word I'm going to be crass and say it: I'M JUST LAZY. Sometimes I like to care a little but for the most part this is what drives the way I dress now. The busier I am, the less I fuss over my appearance. I admitted that for a while that I thought I was letting myself go, which is somewhat true, I suppose, but after a while I realized that I may just finally be getting comfortable with the way I want to look which isn't really anything special. So what if I wear the same things over and over again? Isn't that what you're supposed to do when you buy clothing you claim to love? As a friend of mine stated so eloquently:

my whole thing is just
stop being "things"
and just get dressed


Maybe I'm just a lil' cranky about everything that's been going on with Four Loko. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS! Everything is good in moderation, guys.


bare legs in the fall

vintage dress, H&M cardigan, vintage oxfords, fjallraven backpack

Slowly easing back into the flow of things. I think I just needed a month-long break from everything to reevaluate my life/relationship/friendships. I'm entering the "real world" in less than two months and I'm still not 100% sure about what I want to do. Or I think I know but I'm not sure how to go about it. I'm looking for a full time job at the moment but can't devote enough time to seriously look because of school.

OKAY THIS DISCUSSION IS TOO SERIOUS TO GO WITH THESE PHOTOS. I'm eating a horchata ice cream pop and prancing around in a mini dress in 75 degree weather, damn it. In November! Is it really November? I had originally put this dress up for sale but the buyer fell through so I ended up keeping it.


Starting to rethink these larger photos since they really show how haggard and frazzled I look after sleeping 12 hours. I've been sick, okay? I'll end this with this stupid photo with this stupid idiot who I want to punch every now and then. I'll still give him a bite of my ice cream though, even if he is a little vulgar.

ice cream

Feature: Iniquity



GGotW: What was it that gave you the bug to be a Goth Model?
I: Being an artist means being able to appreciate aesthetics. I have always wanted to model gothic clothing in particular, due to the feeling I would get when I would see those gorgeous gothic models online. I just imaged how it would feel to have true freedom over yourself, and just wear whatever made you happy regardless of how others felt about it. I loved the confidence those men and women helped bestow upon me at such an early age. I wouldn't trade my style for anything, it makes me feel like I am who I am supposed to be. Being overweight really hindered any fantasy of gothic modeling for me. I felt that no one would want to look at someone model anything at such a heavy weight. I wore a size 24 pants before, and it took a LOT of work to get to where I am today. Modeling is kind of like the cherry of top. It just puts everything I have done into perspective. It's important to me to be able to see the fruits of your labor, and getting an opportunity to have a dream come true through hard work, dedication, and motivation makes it all worth it.

GGotW: Have you been able to do a lot of modeling?
I: I wouldn't say that, but I have worked with a few really awesome photographers here in NC. I have also been a nursing student for awhile now, I am just about to graduate in the summer of 2011 and so it hasn't given me much time for modeling. I work specifically with Michael Koontz of Aerozz Photography. We do mostly fetish and artistic modeling, but my goal is gothic clothing.

GGotW: I understand you are a looner, is that the right term?
I: The looner fetish is new to me, and new for me. The fetish community has a fantastic variety of people in it, and a close friend of mine introduced me to the looner community two years ago. Being a looner is soo much fun. I love hopping on balloons, grinding on them, blowing them up till they pop, sitting on them to pop. I love the feeling of the latex on my skin. It's very similar to wearing a latex outfit, except much less expensive. Balloons are just amazing. Whenever I go into my room, I always have about 5-20 balloons hanging out. I have to be aware of their location because sometime I accidentally step on them and my cat get super freaked out. The looner community is very friendly as well. I have a lot of fans because most looners are men from my experience.

GGotW: What is the looner fetish?
I: The easiest way to explain the looner fetish is : a person who gets sexually aroused through playing with, popping, and touching balloons. Most people LOVE the popping aspect, but there are popper and non-poppers. To my knowledge, there are way more poppers, and I myself am a popper. Poppers love the sound of the balloon popping, the explosion of the balloon turns them on. I love when I blow-to-pop (or B2P), blowing up the balloon (especially very large ones) till they explode right in my face. I've never been hurt, but once popped like 40 balloons with my ass wearing a thong, and my butt was hurting for sure.

GGotW: What other things are you into?
I: If you mean hobbies. I love to paint, draw, make clothing, I sculpt occasionally..and I am a great cook. I also exercise everyday, mostly weight lifting, tae bo, and I have an evil elliptical machine who I have a love/hate relationship with. When I have the time I go to fetish clubs, and goth clubs..but like I said I am a VERY busy woman. I also work full time taking caring for elderly and disabled people in their homes. I LOVE my job, and wouldn't trade it.

** New images from Iniquity for 2010 year end

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things that make me happy #6


the corner of my desk. I always watch Totoro when I'm feeling especially down. last week's South Park episode? ACE.

things that make me happy #5

I've never been a handbag person, I use totes more often. now, this HOPE leather tote? best of both worlds.

bringing on the lulz

vintage dress, parka from a korean boutique, american apparel tights, vintage boots, fjallraven backpack

Feeling totally drained after working on an essay all weekend. Sometimes I wonder if I force myself to feel this strung out and overwhelmed. Nay, I've just had a lot to deal with. Things are starting to look better, thankfully. Yesterday was a nice little break, except for that pigeon feather which flew into my mouth while I tried to imitate Lulu on camera. Actual video coming later.

...alright bitches, who am I f***ing kidding trying to be serious and laconic about this shit: A PIGEON FEATHER FLEW INTO MY DAMN MOUTH ON F***ING CAMERA. We played that shit over and over again so many times that Lulu and I both cried from laughing too hard. WHO THE HELL DOES THIS HAPPEN TO?! I mean really, I was just trying to enjoy my cream puff and blended drink from Coffee Bean (while making fun of Lulu) and this feather just happened to fly into my f***ing mouth. Editing that video is going to be a huge pain since I can't think about it without laughing insanely hard and wanting to pee myself.


Sometimes all you need is a really good laugh which takes over you so well that you totally forget about whatever problems or bullshit were previously messing with your mind, even if it's just for a second. Laughter is awesome, guys. Although most of the time the people around me are laughing at me, not with me. Hmph. Okay, now just look at LULU'S SHINY HAIRRRR...

dirty backpack
lulu's hair

Feature Rifká

Goth Metal Model from SpainMySpace


GGotW: Spain, where you are from, always seems to be portrayed as sunny and warm place.
How does a Goth survive in such a climate?
In winter it can be really cold! and in summer I just keep the boots and the black clothing, but I wear short pants and skirts, and strap shirts.

GGotW: What is the story behind the name Rifká?
Rifká: I was at a conference given by a Jewish ex-spy and I asked his wife the meaning of my name Rebeca. She couldn't translate it, but she told me the original pronunciation was Rifká (Reb-kah, literally).

GGotW: How did you get started modeling?
Rifká: I liked modeling, but I didn't like the average clothing and styles. I discovered Lady Angellyca (forever slave) and then I found out alternative models existed. I booked a shoot and then I made my portfolio to start modeling.

GGotW: Who have you modeled for?
Rifká: I am in several websites and I have worked with some photographers. But I have modeled for Miss Selfdestructive's alternative clothing, for the metal band Fifth Wound, I was the first featured model in Antipretty and I was last year walking on the Goth Week of Madrid's parade, going to repeat this year also.

GGotW: Is there a lot of call for Alt modeling in Spain?
Rifká: Not really. There are photographers who like some dark images for their portfolios and also some goths who like taking photo shoots just for fun. But Alt models are few.

GGotW: What is the Metal scene in Madrid like?
Rifká: There are not lots of metal fans in general, but there are certain places where you can find an interesting metal community here. They usually hang out in Bajos de Argüelles and they meet at lot in concerts and metal pubs.

GGotW: What is Bajos de Argüelles?
Rifká: Bajos de Argüelles is a big concentration of rock and metal pubs in Madrid.

Gothic Steampunk GirlGothic Steampunk GirlGothic Steampunk GirlGothic Steampunk Girl

Click on the images that appear with the article to see larger versions. Please feel free to leave comments below, you don't need to be a member to leave comments.